1 Peter 4:8
Uncertainties and negativities in marriage can cause anyone to be jealous. Now, jealousy in marriage arises from an aggrieved sense. It is normal to feel a bit jealous at times; occasional jealousy can be accepted as a normal part of a marital relationship, but things will develop in the opposite direction when they become extreme. Therefore, overcoming jealousy in your marriage is paramount.
God has given us the ability to change some certain things around us, and He limited some other things to Himself alone to change. Trying to change what you don’t have power to change will lead to frustration and anguish. One thing is certain you can change the attitude of being jealous over your spouse, but many people has not accepted this reality. If you want to overcome jealousy in your marriage you must first understand this issue from biblical point of view. I want you to realize that there is a good form of jealousy and an evil form of jealousy. For instance, God is a jealous God. He does not want you to have any other god before Him and therefore He zealously pursues you. However, God in His love will never force, control, or manipulate any body to follow Him. Men and women can also have a godly jealousy towards each other. Therefore, it is natural that your spouse would want you to remain completely faithful to him or her. But, what is so grievous about human jealousy is that it usually crosses the line by attempting to force a person to love or be faithful. God will never do that in His jealousy. In fact, it is impossible to force anyone to love you or be faithful. Love and faithfulness must be chosen by a person’s own free will. Notwithstanding, evil jealousy is actually what the Bible calls a work of your flesh, or that which has its motivation in your sinful nature. Selfishness is what causes a person to pressure, force, and manipulate another. But contentious rivalry and hatred will always result from selfish jealousy and will surely destroy the love within a marriage. As you can see, jealousy is not always wrong or evil; it is a question of motivation or your behavior. If you are displaying anger, contention, and envy towards your spouse or you are trying to manipulate your mate, then you definitely have the wrong kind of jealousy. Your jealousy does not have godly motivation which is tempered by love and freedom. Identifying why you are jealous is another way of getting free from this contentious behavior. There are many things you can become jealous over, but these are not why you are a jealous person. For example, you can become jealous over a person’s wealth, possessions, beauty, athletic ability, their relationship with others, educational achievement, or their success in life. In other words, you can become jealous over anything. However, identifying the cause of your jealous feelings is sometimes more difficult because it requires honest introspection. The only way to get free from these causes of jealousy is by aggressively dealing with the issues in your life. You cannot expect that your jealous behavior will just miraculously disappear on its own just because you desire it to do so. You must apply the solutions found in God’s word if you ever hope to find the freedom you desire.
Also Read: Overcoming Jealousy In Your Relationship
l encourage you today to pursue open communication about your fears and hopes for a closer relationship with your spouse. Express your desire to be completely trustworthy and to be trusted. But, remember that only in an atmosphere of love can you ever hope to build trust. Also praying for your spouse who struggles with jealousy is so important because he or she is battling greatly within their mind. Insecurity, comparison, and trust issues are not easy to deal with. Therefore, overcoming jealousy in your marriage is very important.