Money is a subject that people tend to avoid. It is considered a no go area to talk about how much you make, how much you owe, how you spend it, how often you think about it and how it does or does not drive you. On the other hand, money affects everything especially marriage.
You may not think that money constraints have such a prevalent role in your marriage. You may think this discussion doesn’t apply to you and your partner. But even if you think everything is going well. It never hurt to recognize the obvious ways money constraints can affect marriages.
Marriage can be blissful but when money is involved among couples, it becomes a different ball game. it is a common belief that money plays a large role in the life of couples. On the other hand, problems can come up in a marriage due to money constraints, which affect marriages.
So, money constraints and problems in a marriage can lead to incessant fights which can lead to divorce. I want you to note that It is one of the major factors that cause disagreements among married couples.
12 Proven Ways Money Constraints Affect Marriages
Here are 12 proven ways in which money constraints can affect marriages.
Greed can be seen as a selfish and excessive desire for more of something than is needed. On the other hand, couples can be greedy for money, but also fame, possessions, attention, compliments, gifts, another person’s time, and more. Now, married couples always dream of living happily ever after. At their weddings, their family always wish them the best. But in our society today, an increasing number of marriages are being broken up. More than 4000 local couples were divorced in 2020 and many of these divorces are due to greed.
People marry for the wrong reasons either because the bride or groom is from a rich home or is rich. So, the high rate of divorce in the country to western influence on families, greed, and negative impacts of Nigeria’s dwindling economy.
So, one way to avoid greed and help protect yourself when it comes to money in your relationship is to take part in your family’s finances. Even if your spouse handles the day to day financial tasks, you can still be involved.
2. Spending More Than Your Income
Spending more than your income can be as a result of one partner making more money than the other. On the other hand, the spouse earning more sees the money as his or her own and believes that he or she has the right to spend the money at will. The other spouse may not have anything left for other purchases. So, issues can come up in such a relationship.
Couples should make sure that they do not spend above their earning. None of them should influence nor force each other to make purchases far above their income.
3. Secret Spending
I want you to note that secret spending can end relationships. Now, married couples who aren’t honest with their partner about their spending habits are more likely to end up with a broken marriage. It has more of an impact on relationships than you anticipate. One of the major reasons couples break up with their partner is due to a lack of financial honesty. It’s not so much what your buying, it’s that you are doing it behind your partner’s back and it’s the breach of trust that is the problem.
So, as a way to remember that the money that married couples make belongs to the couple, money should be spent together on a regular base.
4. Financial Personality
Now, having a financial personality is the first step towards a blissful marriage. On the other hand, knowing what drives your financial decisions, can help you reach your financial goals for the month, whether you are spending less on impulse purchases or saving more for your family.
I want you to note that money is part of every piece of our lives. That’s why couples who disagree about money will disagree about everything. Once they can find their financial personalities, all of their spendings habits or lack of spending habits, their fears, and their fights about money start to make sense. So when you know your personality it helps prevent money from destroying your marriage.
5. Hiding Money
The bible teaches us that money answers all things and that the love of money is the root of all evil. This goes to show that hiding money from each other can make or mar any marriage. Couples who have spent many years together know that their financial situation can be a source of strength and unity or a force that can destroy their relationship. Couples who allow money to determine their happiness find it hard to stay together but couples who put a boundary between their finance do better.
On the other hand, hiding money affects more than finances; it leads to a breakdown of trust and communication. I want you to note that marriage is more than a relationship; it is an economic partnership and social safety.
As married couples I want you to note that hiding money from each other is financial infidelity. So, it can be devastating, creating a sense of distrust and causes relationship problems. On the other hand, It can lead to suspicion and animosity which is difficult to overcome.
6. Hiding Debt From Each Other
Hiding debt from each other can cause serious quarrels between couples which leads to lower marital satisfaction. For your marriage to be blissful, both of you need to be on the same page and work towards the same goals. If you are in debt, both of you need to be committed to canceling that debt.
Now, you can imagine what both of you can accomplish if you worked together towards paying off debt? It sweetens and solidifies the ties between partners. Now, refusing to disclose the debt to your spouse has the potential to destroy a marriage, both emotionally and financially. In other to have a blissful marriage avoid hiding debt at all costs.
7. Poor Financial Management
In Nigerian today, most of the couples promise to their spouse is for better or for worse and for richer or for poorer when each of them does the exchange of vows. So, it is unfortunate that many couples can’t seem to survive either richer or poorer due to poor financial management.
I want you to note that financial management skills can reduce the chances of disagreements, on the other hand, the lack of such skills affect marriages. Now, when couples argue about money, they tend to disagree about how available finances can be managed or spent which can lead to divorce. So, good financial management can be a rewarding way to unite with your spouse.
8. Being Stingy With Money
Being stingy can be seen as unwilling to share, give, or spend possessions or money. Now, some spouses can deny their children needs their own needs because they don’t believe that they have a right to spend the family money. They deny themselves such things as clothing, shopping, and dining out, on the other hand, they deny themselves doctor visits or food. All the while thinking that they are doing what is best. So, it causes more harm than good and puts an additional burden on a marriage.
As married couples, you need to be generous it builds up your confidence and makes you feel good about your union. You can go the extra mile to do something for each other, like buying gifts or paying for the meal. By doing this, you are building a strong family, which makes you the best husband or wife and cause your marriage to be blissful.
9. Inability To Maintain Joint Account
A joint account can be seen as a bank account opened in the names of two or more people.
Over the years, there has been an issue of how couples should handle their finance. The argument about the kind of account that should be maintained has been on the lips of counselors. Some advocate for a joint account while others clamor for a separate account. Each of these accounts has its benefits and shortcomings. So, it is important for them to keep an account, save for future use.
Now, one of the major challenges married couples are usually faced with is how to maintain a joint account. So, it is important for them to have proper knowledge of its benefits and associated risks. On the other hand, one of the reasons why couples should keep joint accounts is mutual security and reassurance both of them have. I want you to note that it enables couples to plan their budget, spend, and invest their money together.
sometimes, partners can feel cheated with their spending if they have to get permission from each other before they can access the money. So, it is important that the joint account be a current account where both will sign before funds can be withdrawn.
One of the problems of keeping a joint account is that it causes couples to feel a loss of financial independence. Now, if it is not properly handled it can cause quarrels which leads to divorce.
10. Keeping Separate Account
In Nigeria, today keeping separate accounts is becoming more common among couples. I want you to note that it has its own challenges, yes. But they also come at a big cost of true financial intimacy.
One inevitable thing in marriage is to fight or have a misunderstanding about keeping a separate account. The day to day running of the home causes a lot of stress and in turn, friction arises. Now, the idea of maintaining two accounts does make sense you pay the utilities, I’ll pay the mortgage, and you will share the foodstuffs.
On the other hand, If both partners wish to keep separate accounts, they need to have a discussion about it to establish a strong financial plan for the future. So, It gives both couples some freedom to act unilaterally.
Now, a deep study shows that having separate accounts does not take away responsibility form couples. They still need to work through how bills will be paid, who is responsible, and have constant discussions to balance accounts.
Now, couples can wish to keep separate accounts but if not properly handled it can affects marriages. So, consult your spouse before doing so, to avoid money issues.
11. Extended Family Involvement
Now, one of the major challenges that couples face today is their extended family involvement in their finances. To avoid such conflicts partners should plan and agree on how much they want to spend on big projects for their family members.
So, if you are having frequent fights with your spouse because he or she is spending a large part of the money on his or her extended family. Now, you need to have a chat with your partner about your plans to support them.
As a married couple that has a child, your family should be your top priority. Ensure that you help out your extended family if they need it, but don’t do it at the expense of your own family.
12. Financial Abuse
Now, financial abuse can be seen as a form of violence that involves the withholding of money, controlling all the spending, or refusing your spouse access to funds. So, It’s common for couples to argue about money or disagree over bills.
On the other hand, if your spouse is controlling all the spending, discourages you from making more money, or controlling all the funds, it can affect the marriage.
I want you to note that financial abuse gives one partner power over the other, which brings about loss of trust, authenticity, and emotional intimacy. But if you are able to work it out, it leads to a blissful marriage.
Now, you can see that money constraints affect all stages of life, including the marital stage of life. In other to avert financial constraints in marriage partners or spouses have to judiciously plan on their spending. So, it can influence every aspect of marriage, but understanding the processes involved is vital. On the other hand, if it is properly handled it leads to a blissful marriage.
Now, as a married couple, you are a team. I want you to note that a team plays together, plans together, work together, practices together, wins, and loses together, and is rewarded together. So, both partners need to work in unison to get through money constraints which affect marriages.